Are you part of the cultural commitment to Doing?
In Ingrid Bacci's book The Art of Effortless Living she talk about two types of living
1) Living well is a function of what you do - success is measured by what you do and what you can accomplish externally.
2) Living wel is a function of who you are - sucess of living reflects your internal being, how you go about life from the inside.
Which one are you? For years I have definitely been a human doing! I have felt the pull and allure of achievement, believing that when I get to that next goal I will be happier! But with this there always resides that empty feeling. It reminds me of doing your dissertation at university or any essay really. You spend hours and hours on this piece of work thinking about how you will feel when you finally hand it in! The day comes... you walk into the office, hand it in and...... NOTHING no fireworks, no big burst of amazing hurrah.. just NOTHING. You feel emplty, now what do you do with your time?? HA HA HA
When we focus on being we become more content with the now. This isn't to say there is no place for doing within that, but if we are driven from a place of being, then it becomes so much more enjoyable! This topic is huge but lets start at the beginning...
So how do you know if your a human being or a human doing? One of the biggest signs is to know whether you are you living in an environment of Stress … and maybe you don’t even know it!!!!!!
We can go day by day not even realising that we are putting our bodies under unnecessary stress. We won’t even realise, and our bodies can continue to work harder than they need to. There are some small changes you can make to help you and your body to live in a more peaceful and happy environment. But first of all what is stress? - Stress is a normal physical response that can happen when you sense danger. Stress is actually a good thing in a heightened situation. The body helps by becoming more focused, energetic and alert. Some call this the ‘fight or flight’ response. To live in this alert state day to day is not good for your body, yes it can help with deadlines at work, study for an exam or gear up for a big event but if you stay in this state it can have major effects on your health, your mood, your relationships and result in effecting your quality of life. I’m not writing this to scaremonger but with society becoming more and more pressured stress is a factor we should be aware of. Symptoms of Stress:
Avoid unnecessary stress. Not all stress can be avoided, but by learning how to say no, distinguishing between “shoulds” and “musts” on your to-do list, and steering clear of people or situations that stress you out (the drama – staying away from gossip), you can eliminate many daily stressors.
Alter the situation. If you can’t avoid a stressful situation, try to alter it. Be more assertive and deal with problems head on, it’s OK to be angry. Instead of bottling up your feelings and increasing your stress, respectfully and compassionately let others know about your concerns. - Maybe write it down, come away from it for a few days and then come back to it. It may not seem as important as it initially was.
Adapt to the stressor. When you can’t change the stressor, try changing yourself. Reframe problems or focus on the positive things in your life. If a task at work has you stressed, focus on the aspects of your job you do enjoy. And always look at the big picture: is this really something worth getting upset about? - Remember everyone is just doing the best with what they have and we never really know what others are going through. (A great blog for this is Mark Manson's The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck)
Accept the things you can’t change. There will always be stressors in life that you can’t do anything about. Learn to accept the inevitable rather than rail against a situation and making it even more stressful. Look for the upside in a situation—even the most stressful circumstances can be an opportunity for learning or personal growth. Learn to accept that no one, including you, is ever perfect. - This is all about the being. By going against the only person your really hurting is yourself and your own wellbeing.
As I mentioned earlier this is a huge topic and here are just some initial pointers to get you started. If you want more information or advice on a specific situation please contact me at Olivia@beingtula.com. I am always here to listen, I'm not saying I know everything but sometimes to get an unbiased pair of ears or eyes really helps :-)
Table and the 4A’s taken from (http://www.helpguide.org/articles/stress/stress-symptoms-causes-and-effects.htm)